The Dragon Lord's Aide Wants to Quit [BL] - Chapter 205

Chapter 205: The Mate Dilemma
They say that there are moments in life that people prepare for—payday, bad hair days, the possibility of winning the lotto—and then there are moments you don’t.

Like being suddenly cursed or learning about grim, ancient secrets.

Oh, or the possibility of hearing the reigning dragon lord—who might just be the biggest closeted romantic—say something like “Be my mate.”

Yeah.

Apparently, in the short life of a human aide, it was possible to hear such words said directly to his face.

He didn’t even overhear it. There was no stumbling into their office to find his boss and his paramour saying such things to each other.

No.

In this case, the aide himself was the one sitting on that sturdy lap, being stared at by someone who had definitely clarified that he absolutely meant every word.

Hoooh!

And yet there he was, experiencing a noticeable delay as he tried to understand what those words meant for him, for them, and for everyone else.

He’d heard the sentence clearly. Understood every word. The problem was that understanding and acceptance were two entirely different skill sets, and he only had one of them at the moment.

His heart was doing somersaults while his lungs had forgotten their job.

How had he even deceived himself into thinking he’d be mentally strong enough to start this insane topic?

Well, clearly, he was lacking in that department.

Because Riley had to clutch at his chest, hoping to stop his heart from beating too fast.

He wasn’t even sure what part of him was supposed to respond first.

The brain? The heart? Or was it that part of his soul that was silently crying when nothing had even started?

Because sure, he heard the words. ‘Be my mate.’ Simple enough. Direct. Heart-pounding.

And that was when Kael first said it.

But after hearing about the dragon’s past, ‘Be my mate’ suddenly sounded daunting, heart-wrenching, and yet enduring.

Except… that was for the mate who was lost.

What about him? What would that title even mean for someone like him? For them?

To Kael, it seemed to be an unending devotion towards the egg, his mate.

One that would’ve gone forever had it not suddenly disappeared.

But other than devotion, protection, and accountability, would being someone’s mate equate to something more familiar yet foreign to Riley?

Love?

Was being someone’s mate synonymous with being the love of someone’s life?

Or was it the type where the magical connection was expected to work in place of love, like a given tether, so beings don’t even need something as abstract or unreliable as love?

Because that’s what he garnered from why mates even existed in the first place.

Riley had so many questions.

Would it even be possible? And if so, what would it take to be one?

As a mortal, there wouldn’t be that resonance that Kael was familiar with. If anything, it would be like back then when they had the sigil… but…

Then the frazzled aide realized how ironic this all was. After all, his original version of mating was the kind that—

Oh yeah, what kind?

Sex?

Was that really the kind of mating he was afraid of?

Had he really been bothered because he was concerned about being a notch on someone’s bedpost? Or because he might jump someone he thought already had a mate?

Or…was he really trying to go on that vacation because he was afraid of wanting someone he couldn’t have?

“…”

“…”

And if, hypothetically, there was no such thing as mating for life among dragons, and they could’ve just spent a night rolling in bed without that kind of responsibility…

Would Riley have been satisfied to have him for a night?

Perhaps he would wake up in a hotel room, see a note for next time, and then return to work as if it were any other day.

Would it be okay if he were just another name on a list—maybe one out of a third of Eryndra?

Haaah!

Fuck. Obviously not.

They weren’t even together, and yet Riley was already feeling murderous.

Slap!

Kael blinked.

The golden dragon, who had been sitting quietly, waiting for the twig to finish whatever mental and emotional gymnastics he was performing, froze when Riley suddenly smacked himself across the face.

“???”

But before Kael could say anything, a hand shot up in his direction, a clear sign to wait.

Green eyes—wild, conflicted, and far too alive—lifted to meet his.

“I don’t know,” Riley said softly. His voice trembled, unsure, small. “I really don’t know…”

Kael was about to reach out to at least steady the suddenly wilting human when the twig suddenly straightened his back, determination flashing where confusion had just been.

The golden lizard’s brow furrowed.

Then, before he could ask what was wrong, Riley started talking—no, ranting—like a man possessed.

“Mates,” he began, his words quick and stumbling over each other. “It’s not a foreign word, but it’s not like humans are perfectly aware of what that actually means for dragonkind. What do mates even do?”

Kael blinked, already sensing danger in the line of questioning.

“Moreover,” Riley continued, gesturing wildly now, “what about a non-dragon mate? Would that even be realistic? What do you even expect from a mate? A-all I know is that mates polish shells! But what do you do when there’s no shell to polish every day? What do you do when—when the days are definitely numbered?”

His voice cracked, his hands gripping his own knees as if holding himself steady.

Then he looked straight at Kael again. His tone dropped lower, his eyes fierce but trembling.

“But more importantly,” he whispered, “why would you even ask me to be your mate?”

The air between them grew still.

Kael said nothing, his golden gaze fixed on the trembling figure in front of him.

“Why?” Riley repeated, his voice breaking slightly. “Would you…”

He swallowed hard, looking away now.

“Would you even be able to love anyone else but your original mate?”

The last question came out barely above a whisper.

It was quiet, fragile, and raw—like Riley wasn’t even asking the figure before him anymore.

He was asking himself.

Because even if Kael said yes, would he be able to believe him?

__

Riley’s words spilled out like he was being chased.

And maybe, in a sense, he was.

By confusion. By fear. By the sheer impossibility of everything he wanted and everything he could hope for.

In truth, by the time he was done asking all those questions, it was rather obvious that even Kael’s past had caught up with Riley.

Then again, as he listened to the words that unexpectedly came out of the golden lizard’s mouth, maybe he really shouldn’t have asked at all?!

One would think the guy had spent years reflecting on things before speaking, and yet what came out of his mouth was, “What exactly is a dragon mate? Well, it’d depend on the kind.”

Riley blinked. “…What?”

But Kael continued, completely serious.

“Among dragons,” he said, “a mate carries immense political, social, and emotional weight. It isn’t just affection—it’s power, legacy, and duty. It’s choosing someone to share one’s life, one’s strength, one’s soul. The chosen partner bears the mark of that bond and continues the family line for generations to come.”

Riley’s heart gave a small, painful thud. It wasn’t like he didn’t know about that part, which was exactly why he found all of it unreasonable.

And while Kael had mentioned this before, that was some time before all these feelings came crashing down on him.

What earlier sounded like a mere history lesson felt like a fresh stab wound now.

Because, wow, that sure sounded like a neat and impossible list of things he’d never be.

Kael, of course, didn’t seem to notice the emotional collapse happening right before him and just continued.

“But while that’s what’s usually expected today, as you’ve learned earlier, it wasn’t always like this. Allegedly, more than chosen dragon mates, there also existed the concept of fated mates.”

Yep. Point definitely taken.

“Ironically,” Kael said with what Riley swore was the faintest trace of amusement, “a fated mate would likely end up demolishing the ideals of those harping about finding their most suitable partner, because even the strongest dragons would falter at the hands of their primal desires.”

He paused briefly before adding, “Such a mate would call out to a dragon’s baser instincts and drive them to do things they would never have thought of doing before.”

Riley opened his mouth, then closed it again. His hands clenched on his knees.

Personal experience. And they had just discussed this earlier, so it wasn’t like he wasn’t mentally prepared to hear it.

It’s just that, wow, Kael really wasn’t holding back today.

Great.

Perfect. Because why not say everything that could emotionally annihilate him in one sitting?

He really wanted to plug the guy’s mouth right now.

Obviously, Kael was just explaining things—but there were times when even facts hurt!

And maybe Riley reacted too early, because if that already stung, then what came next felt like salt poured directly on the wound.

“Then… what about non-dragon mates?” Kael said, glancing at him. “You asked what that would mean, and whether it was realistic.”

Riley froze, his throat suddenly dry.

Kael nodded slightly to himself before continuing. “Well, it’s definitely possible,” he said calmly, “but generally frowned upon.”

That was it.

He actually wanted to ask, “Then why did you even ask me to be your mate if it was so frowned upon?”

Kael went on, tone still maddeningly calm, “It’s a partnership that would never make sense politically or socially. A companion whose life span would be painfully short compared to a dragon’s. A being who couldn’t possibly mirror the mutual exchange of strength and soul that dragons shared.”

Each word was a slow punch to the chest.

“In short,” Kael finished, “it’s a bond against nature itself.”

Riley stared at him, mouth hanging open.

And Kael, sitting there with that serene expression, clearly had no idea how brutally honest he sounded.

For someone who could melt mountains, he sure had a talent for casually obliterating hearts.

Riley was about three seconds away from throwing a solid tap—maybe not a hard one, but definitely one to make a point—when Kael suddenly spoke again.

“But it’s precisely because I understand those things that I asked you.”

“???”

Riley blinked. Wait, what?

Kael’s tone was calm, almost too calm, like he hadn’t just spent the last few minutes explaining every reason why this entire thing was impossible.

“Better yet,” Kael continued, “it’s because I can tell the difference that I’m going after you like this.”

“?!”

Kael looked at him with a faint glimmer in his golden eyes, the kind that said he was probably more amused than he should be.

“Because for someone who’s not even resonating with me,” Kael said slowly, “and for someone that most clan leaders would call a walking, breathing liability, you’ve driven me crazier than anyone else.”

Riley’s mouth fell open.

But Kael wasn’t finished.

“And yet,” he went on, his voice softer now, “more than just driving me insane, you’ve also given me the most clarity and peace I’ve ever known.”

Riley froze. His mind stuttered between what the hell and what did he just say?

Kael’s eyes met his, steady and certain. “So clear,” he said, “that even when I’m utterly lucid, and things still sound stupid, I’d still end up choosing you.”