My Scumbag System - Chapter 135

Chapter 135: The Internet Wants to Call Me Daddy
An hour later, I had official accounts on three different platforms, complete with coordinated profile pictures, identical bios, and first posts scheduled to go live simultaneously. My brain felt numb from the barrage of social media jargon Emi had thrown at me.

“Now, we really need to talk engagement strategy,” Emi said, pulling out a notebook.

“Engagement?” I asked weakly.

“How often you post, what kind of content, response rates to comments—”

“Absolutely not,” I cut her off. “I’m not spending my life glued to a phone.”

“But—”

“No buts. One post a week, max. And I’m not dancing.”

Emi pouted. “Fine. One high-quality post per week, plus responses to key comments. But you should at least consider—”

“He said no dancing, Emi,” Natalia interjected.

“Okay, okay,” Emi relented. “Let’s look at the response once these go live. I bet you’ll have at least a thousand followers by morning.”

“Great,” I said with zero enthusiasm. “Can we get back to studying now? You know, the actual reason we’re here?”

“Of course!” Emi chirped, quickly minimizing her social media apps and pulling her notes back into her lap. “Where were we? Oh right, Gate Theory!”

As Emi launched into an explanation of metaphysical pressure decay rates, my phone buzzed with a notification. I glanced down to see a message from Natalia, who was sitting right beside me.

“You look cute when you’re completely out of your element.”

I shot her a glare that made her smile widen.

“Don’t worry. Your queen will protect you from your adoring fans.”

I suppressed a smirk and turned my attention back to Emi, who was now drawing elaborate diagrams of Gate energy flows. My thumb typed a quick response without looking.

“Just wait until I get you alone later.”

I felt Natalia stiffen slightly beside me. Victory.

“Satori-kun?” Emi’s voice pulled me back to reality. “Are you following this?”

“Absolutely,” I lied smoothly. “Please continue.”

The study session eventually got back on track, though Emi couldn’t help checking her phone every few minutes to monitor the progress of my newly launched social media empire. To her visible delight, the follower count was climbing steadily.

“Two hundred already!” she whispered excitedly during a break. “And the posts haven’t even gone live yet! This is just from the account existing!”

“Fascinating,” I deadpanned, reaching for another chicken wing.

“You should be more excited,” Natalia said, nudging my shoulder. “This kind of visibility could be useful. People underestimate the power of public opinion.”

She was right, of course. The adoration of the masses was a shield against institutional power. If enough people were watching me, it limited what the VHC could do without raising questions. It was a calculated risk, but potentially worth it.

“Fine,” I conceded. “I acknowledge the strategic value.”

“Such enthusiasm,” Natalia drawled.

Emi looked between us, her expression curious. “You two have such an interesting dynamic now. So different from what Natalia used to tell me.”

I felt Natalia tense beside me. Interesting.

“Oh? What did she used to say?” I asked innocently.

“Nothing worth repeating,” Natalia cut in quickly. “Ancient history.”

“She used to call you the leech,” Emi said with a giggle, apparently missing the danger signs. “Said you were like this human-shaped blob that did nothing but eat and play games.”

“Emi!” Natalia hissed.

“What? It’s not like that anymore,” Emi said, gesturing to my current physique. “Obviously things have changed!”

“Obviously,” I agreed, enjoying Natalia’s discomfort far too much. “I’m curious what else my dear stepsister had to say about me.”

“We’re getting off topic,” Natalia said firmly. “Emi, weren’t you explaining the difference between Blue and Red Gates?”

“Oh right!” Emi brightened, flipping to a new page in her notes. “So Blue Gates contain a balanced ecosystem…”

As Emi launched into her explanation, I caught Natalia’s eye and mouthed “human-shaped blob?” She narrowed her eyes in warning, but there was a hint of embarrassment there too. Noted for later use.

By the time our scheduled posts went live an hour later, Emi was practically vibrating with excitement. “Five hundred and twenty followers already! And look at the comments coming in!”

She showed me the screen, where notifications were indeed flooding in.

“THE STRAY DOG HAS ARRIVED! #TeamStrayDog”

“That speech at the gala was EVERYTHING 🔥🔥🔥”

“is this the real account??? someone verify!!!”

“Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry.”

I blinked at that last one. “What does that even mean?”

“Don’t ask,” Natalia advised.

“This is amazing!” Emi squealed. “You’re trending in the Hunter community! Look, even some of the top prospects are following you!”

She pointed to a name I recognized—Reyna Cabana. The notification showed she had just followed my account. That was… unexpected.

“The La Sirena herself,” Natalia murmured, her voice carefully neutral. “Interesting.”

“Oh, and look, Julian Valerius is commenting!” Emi exclaimed, then her face fell. “Oh. It’s not very nice.”

I took the phone, reading Julian’s comment: “Enjoy your 15 minutes, Zero. The academy has a way of sorting out the pretenders.”

“Charming guy,” I remarked, handing the phone back to Emi. “I can see why he’s so popular.”

“Should we delete it?” Emi asked, her thumb hovering over the comment.

“No,” I said. “Let people see who he really is.”

Natalia nodded approvingly. “Smart. The contrast works in your favor.”

“This is so exciting!” Emi gushed. “Your first social media rivalry! This is going to generate so much engagement!”

I looked between Emi’s unbridled enthusiasm and Natalia’s amused smirk, feeling oddly caught between two worlds. In one, I was Kaelen Leone, a man who would have settled this dispute with Julian in a dark alley with a pair of brass knuckles. In the other, I was apparently a social media influencer, fighting my battles with hashtags and carefully curated photos.

What a strange world I’d stumbled into.

“Alright,” I said, closing Emi’s notebook. “Enough social media for today. If we’re going to crush these exams, we need to actually study.”

“Yes, sir, Stray Dog, sir!” Emi saluted playfully.