Apocalyptic Rebirth: With a repairman system space, she rises again. - Chapter 308

Chapter 308: The parrot that learned to talk.
To that, Philip had no response. He had never referred to himself as “daddy” or “hubby”, both words sounded corny to him.

“I think that is another thing I have in common with her,” He grinned. “I think we will get along splendidly.”

Sunshine was impressed with his determination. So, she decided to give him even more helpful advise. “Don’t tell anyone that you got this information from me…” she leaned against a cold wall and crossed her arms over her chest. “Lisha is a bit of nerd, secretly.”

Philip was surprised. Like everyone else, all they saw were her flashy clothes, perfectly manicured nails and occasional sass. Of course he had seen how focused she was when it came to her work, that was one of the reasons why he liked her.

“She reads romance novels, mostly involving a heroic man of the law, man of medicine or tech.” Sunshine smiled. “As a soldier, you are likely to be her type, if we go by what she reads.”

“A hopeless romantic.” Philip grinned wider.

Sunshine was not sure that she would call Lisha that. “She is brilliant, don’t let the romance novels fool you.”

“I know she is brilliant,” he admitted, “All that computer stuff, I don’t understand much of it but I know it takes someone with big brains to control it.” He opened the protein bar Doctor Choi had left for him. “I like smart women, the problem is that most of them can be intimidating. Especially the ones that wear glasses and look down on you like your brain is pea sized.”

Sunshine laughed. “That sounds like many librarians I met in my childhood.”

Philip raised his eyes and said, “I have a law degree by the way. I used it sometimes in the military.” He brought the protein bar to his mouth but didn’t take a bite. “Most people think I am a fool because of all the pranks I pull and my loud mouth. But, if they had seen the things I have seen, they would understand why I live the way I do.”

He turned his head, looking out of the window. His eyes had shadows and pain that he hid very deep. Sunshine sighed softly. The things he had seen, she was sure that she had seen worse. Everyone processed the horror they witnessed differently. She had always known that there was more to his cracking of jokes before every mission.

“She likes drama and gossip.” She offered.

Philip turned his head, smiling once again. “Now I am an expert on drama and I know all the gossip on the base.”

“Begin with that.” Sunshine told him.

****

Meanwhile, Lisha was hosting her radio show, addressing her faithful audience that was always listening, no matter what they were doing.

She swore that her show was loved not because it was blast through the base via megaphones but because it was fun.

Hades disagreed.

Lisha did not care.

“Greetings earthlings and watchers,” she started with her usual greeting. “Today’s topic: How to care for your mutated pet in a world that has turned upside down. Our once normal pets are now wiser and emotionally unstable. How do we as owners help them? To answer your questions, I have Zoe Hennessy a zoo keeper, Doctor Godwin Bolton a former vet and the most beautiful Doctor Soraya Payne, head of all vets on the base.”

The guests greeted the audience.

“My cat Bob,” Lisha purred, “has awakened laziness.”

The guests laughed, so did the audience.

“I am kidding.” She said, “he did awaken super speed but he is too lazy to use the ability. His claws also grow to T-Rex levels when he is pissed off. My furniture is paying the price for it. I don’t know if other awakened pet owners are experiencing the same problem. What I want to know is, should I start cutting his abnormal claws?”

“Absolutely not.” Doctor Soraya jumped in.

“That could be dangerous for you.” Zoe said loudly. Her rough voice caused some listeners to wince.

Doctor Gordon stepped in, softer in tone, “The T-Rex level claws as you have called them are a common problem among mutated pets. I think all mutated animals at large. It is a protection mechanism that is not going away. The solution is to train your pet on what to scratch and what not to scratch.”

“I think the lab should also come up with some kind of protective covers for furniture.” Zoe suggested. “My parrot Zulu is also giving me trouble with the claws. But, the bigger problem I have is that her talking abilities are too human now. She used to know four sentences and ten words. Now, she critiques my fashion choices expertly.”

Lisha laughed, “Your parrot might have to come and live with me.”

“Share some examples of what she said.” Doctor Gordon requested.

Zoe cleared her throat and mimicked her parrot’s voice, “Is this your end of the world look or just end of hope?”

All over the base, laughter rose to the sky.

Major Elio noted that even the watchers seemed amused.

“That is brutal.” Lisha said.

Zoe shook her head. “Oh if you think that is bad, wait till you hear this. She flew to the third wall just to take a shit on a kid she doesn’t like. Before flying off, she said some ugly words and now the kids parents are suing me!!”

People gasped.

Doctor Soraya leaned towards the microphone and said, “Listeners, remember: mutated pets are emotionally unstable. Most of them have the wisdom of children no more than ten or teenagers. They need stimulation, boundaries, rules and occasional existential reassurance. They are confused about the changes happening within them.

They can tell that their owners are scared of them and it makes them anxious. We have three dogs in pet daycare that were abandoned by their owners because they mutated and have bigger appetites or accidentally hurt someone at home.”

“That is why I advocate for training.” Doctor Gordon said. “I am now giving mutated pet training classes for free in Sunny hall, every Saturday at 10 a.m. Before abandoning your mutated pet, try and learn how to adjust.”

“And we provide extra meals for mutated pets at the clinic.” Doctor Soraya shared. “Don’t be in a hurry to throw your pet away because it eats a lot.”

For thirty minutes, they shared more advise and laughter.

“We have a surprise in the studio today.” Lisha announced. “Zulu is here in the studio with us as our special guest.”

A door was opened and a woman brought the parrot inside. It flew off her shoulder and landed on Zoe’s.

Lisha smiled at the very healthy looking bird. It was bigger and taller than most parrots she had ever seen. It also has a bit of a mean face. How that was possible, she could not explain.

“Miss Zulu, we are so glad that you are here. All the residents are eager to hear your apology to Bruce Lumberjack.”

Zulu ruffled her feathers. “Apology? You have clearly not met that rude little snot faced brat who nearly shot me out of the sky with a sling shot. He is lucky all I did was poop on his big head.”

Silence.

In that silence, thousands of silent gasps could be heard. It took a few seconds, but guffaws came eventually.

Lisha laughed nervously. “Well, Bruce explained that it was an accident. He is just a child—-”

Zulu cackled. “A child. No ma’am he is a bird murderer and I am suing him. Matter of fact, I am suing everyone in this base except for my brother Father Nicodemus. Hear my words, let the world know that child deserved a lesson and I regret nothing.”